The New Indian Bride

The Beatles got it right when they sang “I get by with a little help from my friends.”  They were talking about the support friends provide in matters of the heart but the tune applies to weddings as well. 

Do you have a friend who dances or sings? Perhaps he/she is willing to perform at your wedding.  Do you have a friend with beautiful handwriting?  Maybe she will be willing to help address wedding invitations.  Do you have a friend with a well equiped iPod? Maybe he/she will be willing to DJ one of your events. 

Friends can be a tremendous resource in the planning and execution of a wedding.  Just think of all the people you know and all the talents they possess.  Your network of friends is a vessel of talent waiting to be tapped and I say, tap it!

This New Indian Bride had great experiences working with friends and would not have done it any other way.  If friends offer help and what they are offering is something you can envision as part of your wedding then I say go for it!

Involving friends is not for everyone.  For those of you who want the fanciest of centerpieces you may not be happy with the DIY version that your best friend is able to create.  Others may prefer to deal with professional vendors rather than deal with the stress or loss of control you might experience by having a friend in charge. For some working with friends can backfire and create hard feelings for years to come. 

If you do take help from friends be sure to be specific on what they can do and be clear on what it is you want.  Doing so will ensure there is no room for miscommunication or disappointment.

Growing up, whenever one of us did something cute, endearing or just looked extra special my mom would say “Tu Tu Karo” and make spitting noises in our direction.  Apparently, this tu tu’ing was to protect us from nazir or the evil eye. 

A few days ago my brother asked why my blog hasn’t included a post about him.  As the CFO of the wedding (Chief Fun Officer), he is certainly blog worthy. He did all tasks big and small in the months, weeks and days leading up to the wedding.  He designed and executed the lighting plan for the house.  He stocked the bar for the Sangeet.  He went to four different Calvin Klein stores to secure 15 matching ties for my bride’s men.  He even stood in place of my father at our wedding. 

The truth is I could write many wonderful things about my brother but I hesitate to do so.  I love my little brother.  He is my most cherished possession.  He is the person I worry about most and one of the people I love the most.  Life forced him to grow up quickly and to take on more responsibilities and pressures than those his age should have to bear. 

So forgive me if I don’t write too much about my brother.  I am just protecting him from nazir. Tu Tu my little brother.  Tu Tu.

It is going to be a busy at the wedding house today. 

Two people are off to pick up laddoos from a sweet shoppe an hour away.  Two people are off to the airport to receive our final India guest.  Two people will be finalizing seating arrangements and finishing some handwritten details.  Two people will help my Nani make panjari to serve at the Mehndi.  Two people will be reading the last fifty pages of the Sri Guru Granth Sahib (which means yes the prayers will be complete before the wedding.)  Two people are busy streaming and ironing everyone’s wedding outfits.  Someone will alter my wedding dress which ended up being several inches to big (loosing weight has lots of consequences!)  By this evening with our solo jobs complete, the family will come together and begin practicing songs and dances for the sangeet. 

I am off for a final meeting with the photographer, videographer and to do a trial run in my wedding dress.  You would think someone would drive me or want to tag along but as you can see everyone is busy so I will go it alone. To be honest, I am looking forward to some time with myself today.  It might be the last day this week when I am alone with my thoughts.

Hillary Clinton coined the phrase “it takes a village.”  She was talking about raising a child.  I am talking about getting a Bride ready for the big day. 

Whether you get ready with the help of your sisters or aunties or splurge on Southern California’s best Indian wedding dresser-upper (what do you call these people anyways?), I firmly believe all Brides look gorgeous on their wedding day.  You are happy to marry the man of your dreams.  You are surrounded by friends and family.  You are ready after months and months of planning to toss that bouquet and enjoy the day. 

Once my clothes and jewelry were finalized, I began the search for my own personal dresser upper (again, what do you call these people?).  I met with the best of the breed in the Southern California wedding industry but in the end I decided to go with people I worked with in the past and whose presence I thought would bring calm and fun to the getting ready process.  I also picked people who were local to the town where the wedding will take place.  Why not support small business in this difficult economic time?  The same person who has been doing my hair for the last ten years will do my hair for the wedding.  The make up lady from my most favorite spa will do my face.  Same thing for nails.  Mehndi will also be done by someone I have known for over 15 years.

The big risk I am taking is not having someone pin my chunni.  Do I hear a collective gasp from my readers?  Admittedly, I am a bit worried.  However, the person I wanted to hire (who was unavailable)  is going to pre-place the pins a day before the wedding.  So keep your fingers crossed that goes well.

The New Indian Bride wants to look great on her big day (and I think she will!).  How good a bride looks depends on many factors (the outfit she picks, the jewels she wears) but most important is how she feels. That bridal glow is the finishing touch to every Bride’s look no matter how much that airbrushed make up costs.  Let’s hope I enter this final stretch with my bridal glow in tact .

Post Script: In addition to the villagers that will be on site to make me look great the day of the wedding, there are several fabulous villagers who beautified the bride-to-be in the months leading up to the wedding.  A special thank you to my fabulous esthetician Craig who tirelessly poked and prodded my face to make sure it glows on the big day.  A big shout out to Big Joe Williams and my workout partners at the office who made sure I squatted, lifted and crunched myself into a thinner and better version of me.   And the biggest thanks of all goes to the friends who were always available to hear the mind numbing details of the planning process. 

With just a week to go we should be busy finalizing details with florists, caterers and photographers.  Well, we are doing all of those things.  Problem is we have braces on our back and ibuprofen in our systems.

Simply put, we got gimpy.

My mom injured her back and is barely moving.  My brother is sidelined from wedding projects because he is seeing a chiropractor for neck pain.  My sister has laryngitis. She can’t talk, which also means she won’t be able to sing her solo at the Sangeet. Then there is me.  I slammed the car door into my shoulder and I am getting hives on my face from stress (physical manifestation of  Bridezilla-itis).

The team is still ploughing ahead but it looks like we will be hobbling our way to the finish line. Don’t worry too much about us.  We have called in re-enforcements (Aunties and Uncles please report for duty!)